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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a lover without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to talk about romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {